Yes, Valentine's Day has become overly commercialized. Yes, I know, flower shops and candy stores make a killing and most men hate feeling obligated to come through on that one day. Single people bitch about how depressing it is, but people in long term relationships bitch just as much because they 'have' to celebrate it. I love my boyfriend and he treats me wonderfully, but Valentine's Day is one thing we have never been able to agree on.
Boyfriend says "I've never been a huge fan of valentine's day, but this year for some reason just feels unbearable. The idea of a hallmark holiday that traps people into certain social patterns ... the idea of making it special because society dictates it as a special day is stupid, why not treat your partner like that every day? why conform?" I completely agree with him, but there is not a single person I know who goes out of their way to treat their friends/family/partner that special on any day that isn't Valentine's Day, or a birthday, or Christmas. If he did write me a cute note on random occasions, maybe get me flowers or a balloon that I don't have to ask for, then I could see treating Valentine's Day like just another day. Women have the expectation that they're going to get at least a small nod from their boyfriends or husbands on that day, and they look forward to it because there is no other day of the year that is dedicated solely to making someone feel loved and thought of.
Every male I know seems to miss the fact that if they have a girl or are in a relationship, then they too get to expect something special on Valentine's Day. I might not get my man flowers or a cheesy tie, but I happily planned a special homemade dinner consisting of his favorite foods to take to a drive-in double feature and a cute little card. It's not much, nor is it material or commercial; just a small nice night together during our busy work/school week. That's all women want. We don't want the things, we want the effort. And you know what guys? Yeah, we expect you to do something on valentine's day ... not just to make you conform with all the other couples, but because it has become the only day out of the calendar year that it's socially acceptable for us to want those special gestures from you.
Men used to have to formally court women and care for them, and while I'm glad that our society has moved forward enough to allow men and women to be equals, it saddens me that for the most part chivalry has died out. It becomes assumed that if you pay for a few dinners out together every couple months that a girl knows she's loved and cared for, but the effort and forethought involved in slipping a few bills on the table (while appreciated) is minimal. In long-running relationships we become complacent and days like the dreaded V-Day loose impact and importance, and we don't realize that without continuing to make those occasional special gestures the romance can fade away too.
If not doing anything on Valentine's Day makes me sad, it's not because of a silly holiday or lack of cheap flowers and drugstore chocolates, its the fact that said boyfriend lets his qualms about a silly holiday keep him from celebrating us with me.
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